Deliverance from Bipolar Disease

 



As a teenager, I developed some pretty severe mental health issues. I have never been diagnosed with bipolar disease, but I would spend days at a time contemplating suicide and then experience other days when I was giddy as can be. When I was 16, ( way back in the 70s) I took a psychology class. In the book, it described manic-depression (the old name for bipolar). It claimed that only people over 30 experienced it, but I had every symptom. As I got older, the episodes continued. I became a Christian around the age of 23. The temptation of suicide lessened, but I would still have days in which I could do nothing but cry. By this time, psychiatrists were starting to prescribe drugs to control chemical imbalances in the brain, but we were much too poor to afford doctors and drugs. The church I attended taught extensively about renewing the mind with the Word, and I started practicing this. After I had been doing this for about 4 years, I was able to talk myself through the low spots, but they still came on me with a vengeance.

One day, I was standing at my kitchen stove crying. I had been crying all day, often with big sobs. There was nothing to cry about, but instead of looking for reasons to blame my depression on as I had always done, I was telling myself that God loved me and that this was just a chemical imbalance. It wouldn’t last.

As I continued to encourage myself, I started hearing my pastor’s wife singing in my mind, “I’ll not be defeated, I’ll not be defeated, I’ll not be defeated anymore. When the Holy Ghost came in, He gave me power over sin! I’ll not be defeated anymore.” After listening to this earworm for a while, I heard a voice, not audible, but very real and not coming from me. It said, “Sing it.” I was too depressed to sing, so I ignored the direction. Then the voice became stronger, insisting on my compliance. “Sing it!” Grudgingly, I obeyed. It was pitiful. You know how, when you force a kid to say they are sorry and they growl, “Sorry”? That was my attitude, and my voice reflected it. Then suddenly, it felt like a hand smacked me upside the head along with the demand, “SING IT!!!” So, I started belting it out, “I’LL NOT BE DEFEATED …” About the time I got to the end of the song, I felt a hand on my head. As it lifted, I felt something being pulled out of my body, and the overwhelming urge to cry lifted with it.

I’m healed. I can’t say I’ve never been horribly sad or amazingly happy again, but there has always been a reason. No more roller coaster of emotions that made no sense. I’ve been delivered!

Why did it take so long for God to heal me? I needed to change the way I was thinking. If He had done this miracle any sooner, I would have just fallen back into it. I tell people that the brain is like the earth; if a negative thought crosses your mind once, it won’t be noticeable for long, but if it keeps crossing your mind, it will make a path that is easy to take. After a while, it becomes a big rut. When it rains, it becomes a muddy pit that you can’t get out of. This is when the demons take hold, and only God can pull you out.

Mental illness has physical elements to it, but it often has demonic components as well. Good news! It’s not something God can’t heal. Press into Him, keep seeking. He will lead you out.


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