God Will Not Give You More Than You Can Handle? | Is God Really In Control?

I keep seeing this phrase, "God doesn't give you any more than you can handle." I know it is meant to comfort, but it bothers me. It bothers me a lot.

Not sure where I learned it from, but I grew up with the mentality that God was in control and He has a good reason for everything that happens in your life – that He will not give you anything you can't handle. On the surface, it seems comforting. Assuring you that you are strong and can handle it. But there came a time when that mentality almost destroyed me.

Bear with me while I tell you my story.

A couple of years before my youngest was born, my husband and I went through a very rough period. We didn't have jobs; we had two babies to feed, and the stress we were under was tearing us apart. I was prone to depression back then anyway, and it got to a point that I could take it no longer. I had been taught that God was in control. He was only allowing me to go through what I was going through to teach me a lesson. I had been trying to figure out what that lesson was for a long time. I just wasn't getting it. Yes, I had heard that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle. But I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't handle it. I very seriously considered killing myself and my two children. I was living in hell, and I didn't want them to go through what I was going through. 

Fortunately, God led me to a church that showed me what the Bible actually says about trials and temptations. I learned that the enemy comes to steal and to kill and to destroy, but Jesus has come to give life and life abundantly. It also says that God does not tempt people with evil, nor does He send trials. If it's evil, it is from the enemy, but God is on my side. The only lesson God was trying to teach me was that what I was going through wasn't from Him and that He wanted to use His strength to pull me out of it! Once I got that, I suddenly understood who I was fighting. Before, I thought I was fighting with God. If only I was good enough, strong enough, smart enough – but I wasn't. How could I win? But when I realized that God was on my side and that I didn't have to rely on me, I had hope! It was such an awesome relief!

Yes! Yes! Yes! God does take what the enemy meant for evil and turn it for good! It was not God who sold Joseph into slavery. (See Genesis 37-50), it was his brothers. But God used that situation to place him in a position where he could save them down the road. Could God have done it another way? You bet! But God is not in control of everything that happens on this earth. He gave the earth to man, and man turned it over to Satan in the Garden of Eden. God is not a liar. He told Adam that the earth was his to do with as he saw fit. God will not go back on His word. Instead, He works through people who seek His will. If God is in control of everything, why did Jesus teach us to pray, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven?”?

Yes, God is sovereign. He is King. But good kings do not attempt to micromanage every little detail of their subjects’ lives. Wise kings set up a system of laws that give the people a framework to live their lives by. Then, He steps back and allows them the freedom to live their lives.

I've talked with people who are very angry with God. At some point in their lives, a disaster happened – a child or a parent died - someone betrayed them – they lived through unbearable hardship or grief. They were told that the circumstance happened because God willed it: “Everything happens for a reason. God is weaving a tapestry. From this side of Heaven, it looks terrible, but when we get to the other side, we will see why.” POPPY COCK! I understand this was meant to comfort them, but all it did was turn them away from God. God doesn’t take little children to Heaven because He needs another angel. He doesn’t strike his children with illness and calamity. If you or I were to purposely give our child cancer or break their leg to teach them a lesson, we would rightly be put in jail. Who in their right mind would serve a god that does things to people that we would be thrown in jail for?

Yes! Yes! Yes! God does take the bad things that happen to us and teaches us through them. Any good parent will point out a child's mistakes and teach them the right way to do things. But just like I would never send my kids to play in the road to teach them not to do that, neither does God send bad situations into our lives to teach us.

The saying “God will not give you more than you can handle” comes from 1 Corinthians 10:13. Taken out of context, it does seem to say that God gives trials and temptation. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” However, if you go in and read it in context, Paul is talking about resisting sexual sin, not disasters or children dying or financial difficulty or anything like that – just sexual sin. The message of this verse is that God will always give us a way to escape indulging in sin.

If you look to Heaven, there is no sickness, no sin, no abuse, no disasters, no poverty, no death. THAT is what He wants for us. “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” He knows, too, that we do not have the strength or ability to do this for ourselves. God wants to work on our behalf. It's messy out there because of the fall. Innocent people fall victim to the ravages that are in this world because of sin. But He is able and He will bring us through it, not by our might or our cunning or our righteousness, but by His Spirit!

Know that God loves you. Know that you don't have to be strong enough, smart enough, or big enough. He is all those things, and He is chomping at the bit to help us out. If you are seeking Him, He is on your side. Take His hand and let Him lead you to a higher place.